Date Everything. Yes, really. In Date Everything, you’re able to D.A.T.E. all the items in the game. Of course, this means “Directly Acknowledge a Thing’s Existence.” Silliness aside for a moment, Date Everything is an abundant treasure trove of creativity; a veritable kaleidoscope of talent on display that bursts from every voice actor, character design, and writing choice. There is so much packed into this visual playhouse that fans of dating sims, playful writing, and inventive premise ideas should not hesitate to give this experience a try. You’ll laugh, you’ll smile, and most of all, you’ll fall in love with everything, including the game itself.
Opening Your Eyes
The core gameplay of Date Everything revolves around your character’s sudden acquisition of a pair of “Dateviator” glasses that allow them to talk to any 5 things in their house every day as if they were a real person standing in front of them. Of course, what else are we supposed to do but try and strike up a conversation, with the end goal being falling in love, right? Exactly. Depending on how these talks go, you can not only have them “Love” you, but also “Hate” and be a “Friend” to you as well. Every single one of the 100 dateable characters has their own 3 ending paths, and these characters will also regularly interact with each other, facing and overcoming conflicts, and their own relationships, to reach satisfying conclusions. These conversations are anything but short and shallow, and I was impressed with the depth and maturity of many of the “dates” I had.
You’re presented with dialogue choices during your daily chats with your chosen objects (or, as is sometimes the case, concepts of things) and in these chats, you’re presented with a selection of replies to them that they respond to in turn, usually guiding the back and forth in a way that encourages them to see you as friendly, not so friendly, or -really- friendly. Strewn throughout the dialogue and your choices are an incredibly satisfying amount of puns and fantastically unhinged replies, of which all of the characters appropriately respond in accordance to whatever persona they’re playing while being the wild manifestation of some household item. Additionally, the characters have little dialogue goals of their own, where if you discuss certains topics with them, or coax out a certain reply, you’ll earn a little “sticker” in the character list to commemorate the occasion. Achieving these moments and having a small reminder of the unique conversations was an added bonus that just presented another opportunity to appreciate the ridiculousness of the whole concept, and be rewarded with a keepsake as special as the voice actor’s delivery of such crazy situations.
Finding More than Friends
As you get to know each character, they’ll dig into your life, along with the goings-on of other items in the house, which can bring about different scenes depending on your decisions. The strategic part of the game comes into play when deciding what items to talk to when, and how you’re going to resolve differences, including who you side with. All of these decisions and conversations can open up new characters to date, or expand your ability to visit new rooms in your house. Yeah, you’re locked inside your house and can’t access every character right from the start, but that’s part of what keeps things exciting. Every time you talk to a character for the first time, the reveal of how the item is portrayed is like opening a present. It also helps that the voice acting for every single item is special, with lots of known names and appearances, in addition to some fresh faces. Listing the voice actors for each character within the Date-a-Dex was a great touch, and I found myself looking many of them up on IMDB after thinking, “I know that voice from somewhere…” over and over. What puts the conversations you have over the top is the backing music that’s specially designed for a lot of the characters. I can’t even comprehend coming up with this many different tracks for household objects, but Date Everything did it and it’s a blast to listen to.
Speaking of the Date-a-Dex, your in-game phone turns out to be a great resource for keeping up with which items you’re still looking for, and what your status is with each of them. Plus, it’s the driving force behind the overarching narrative of the game, which is that you’re stealthily testing these Dateviators and can’t leave your house while you do, for some unknown person, while you’re stuck in limbo after being “not fired but about to be” from your customer service job. The conversations held over “Thiscord” with your coworkers, best friend, and the mysterious sender of the glasses fill out the “why” of it all, and drive a pretty compelling (if not overall insane) story about all of this sentient stuff. The “Roomers” app is what helps keep you on-track as far as narrative paths go, especially if you decide to just go all over and talk to as many items as possible instead of following guidance from your dates as to who they may be interested in you talking to next (or where to try and talk to them again, in maybe a different location in the house.) For example, a cat clock may be in the kitchen and in the bedroom, but wants you to talk to them in the kitchen instead of the bedroom the next day, for whatever reason. It’s a little bit of gamification instead of just holding your hand the whole time.
Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder
Visually, the star of the show is over and over again the design and execution of bringing “everything” in the house to life. Sure, the house itself is a bit basic, but it doesn’t need to be anything but a canvas for the character art that’s used for each object. Designing 100 characters would have been enough to satisfy my visual novel itch, but Date Everything goes the extra mile some visual novel slash simulation games do by integrating a healthy amount of text flair and alternative expression art for each and every object. Potential dates will react to the direction of the conversation, smiling, showing off their features, and more as you get to know them. Some of them will even change their looks completely depending on how things go. Even if you’re not a big fan of dating sims, or lots of dialogue, stick around for all the lovingly crafted people that you get to meet.
In Conclusion
Speaking of people, Date Everything becomes more than just a fun exercise in “What If?” and more an exploration of what makes us all human. It’s not what we’re made of on the outside, or what we look like. The seemingly innocuous discussions you start to have with these usually unacknowledged and taken for granted inanimate objects start to hold more weight as you realize you forget sometimes they’re just “things.” Using these objects as vessels to tell more stories than these 100 characters ever had the ability to on their own could’ve been used to be blatantly silly and sexual, with the innuendos and puns only there to make you laugh. All of the fantastic voice acting and writing comes together to bring a, yes, very silly (and sometimes maturely themed, if you opt-in to allow the content) game to life. But more importantly, Date Everything really shines when the spotlight is on the interactions between you, the characters, and the world they inhabit.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with my bed.
